Is a loved one experiencing cognitive decline or a serious medical condition? Is this an unexpected turn of events for you and your family? How will you ever adjust?
It is important to realize that your life will be changing, and just how it will change is uncharted territory. The road ahead can be filled with feelings of grief, stress, confusion, fear, and anger – not to mention being physically exhausted in addition to being emotionally exhausted.
Making arrangements for your loved one’s care can be fraught with pitfalls. You can feel alone and overwhelmed while your loved one can become angry and lash out. And while you may have gotten love and support from your loved one in the past, you may find that this is now missing from your relationship. The amount of time that you spend in the caregiving role can be all encompassing and you can find yourself in a position of having little or no time for yourself. You may even be feeling resentful. This is unhealthy.
Establishing some balance and boundaries in your life is extremely important, both for yourself and your loved one. It is important to have critical decisions about your loved one’s needs before they are needed and while they are still able to communicate with you. Your loved one will be appreciative of your concern for them and feel more a part of their care. As you provide care for your loved one throughout the day, take some small breaks for yourself. Get some exercise, listen to music, meditate and/or do some things that help you to recharge. You can also arrange for longer-term respite by having someone come to your house to take care of your loved one while you get away for a few days. Adult day healthcare is another option for your loved one when you need a break from your daily routine. It’s not that you don’t love them. It’s that you love — and need to take care of — yourself as well.
The best decision you can make for yourself is to get support. Join a caregiver’s support group even if you are not a “group person.” Being with other people who are going through the same thing can be validating and lessen feelings of isolation. At the same time, it can help you cope better with the emotional burdens you experience in providing care for your loved one.
Take that next important step to help ease your level of burden. Remember, you were not meant to go through this alone.
