Do you sometimes feel all alone in the world?
Just so you know, being alone is different than being lonely. Being alone is when you are physically by yourself and not in the presence of others. Being alone is an objective state and not attached with any particular emotion. This means you can be alone and not feel lonely. On the other hand, you can be alone and feel lonely, a very uncomfortable emotional state. There is no denying that we humans are social beings and require human contact for our survival. As an example, during the Coronavirus pandemic of 2020, many of us were forced to isolate ourselves from the people and experiences that brought meaning to our lives. While isolated in our homes, did this mean we were lonely too? Perhaps. Many of us did in fact experience feelings of loneliness during this time, causing us to hunger for the presence of others. But some of us were simply alone in our homes without the experience of any emotional pain as a result.
Imagine the times when you perceived a sense of loneliness in in your life. Isn’t it ironic that when you begin to feel this way, there is a tendency to withdraw and become physically isolated from others? Being isolated then creates feelings of loneliness along with associated uncomfortable emotions, such as sadness and believing that nobody cares about you. The state of being lonely is characterized by feelings of being alone, separated or divided from others, and an inability to connect with others on a deeper level. Loneliness may also be accompanied by feelings of inadequacy, poor self-esteem, and that you don’t matter much as a person. It can also be related to physical ailments and deteriorating health. Older adults and those with physical disabilities are particularly susceptible. Loneliness can have a wide range of negative effects on both physical and mental health, including cardiovascular disease and stroke, increasing stress levels, and deficits in memory and learning.
In particular, men may be more susceptible to loneliness than women. Men and women are socialized differently. Women are raised with the importance of having deep, platonic friendships throughout life. Men on the other hand are taught to be breadwinners without a need for relationships outside of the family. Research about loneliness and social isolation shows us that when it happens it is linked with depression, dementia, falls, deteriorating health, and increasing visits to the emergency room. In fact, loneliness affects our brain chemistry causing us to experience deepening feelings of rejection, disconnection, and longing similar to the pain associated with physical injury or illness. Loneliness often implies stigma – that one is a social failure – and soften prevents us from reaching out to others for help.
What are some of the signs of being lonely and isolated from others?
- Are your supportive networks becoming smaller?
- Do you feel that no one wants you or cares about you?
- Do you feel all alone in the world?
- Do you find that you are withdrawing from others?
- Do you find that you are losing interest in the things you once enjoyed?
- Do you have feelings of despair?
- Do you have poor hygiene and nutritional habits?
I am someone who can help you can find connection with others and combat loneliness and isolation.
